for all of one girl's interests

January 1

I’ve been on the hunt for The Dress online since before I got engaged - the real-life shopping starts Saturday. There have been many that were close, but not quite there. The top was wrong, the skirt too big, and so on. Anyways, I was looking for a wedding band that would fit flush to my engagement ring on thefind and figured, hey, why not check out dresses? For kicks.

I found an etsy seller with some amazing gowns. As I was clicking through, I found the strangest thing.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/111380633/custom-strapless-lace-tulle-wedding

I had completely forgotten what my 8-year-old self had planned for my wedding. This^^ dress, almost exactly. The ring? Eerily similar to mine now (wanted a 3 stone ring, but diamond-sapphire-diamond. Ring I have is blue diamond-white diamond-blue diamond with halos.)

While Im not getting the dress I posted above, I had to smile. I think childhood me would be pleased. Especially if theres apple pie.

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January 5

So today, I went up to London with my friend Tasha and we looked at dresses. I went prepared with 6 photos of dresses I liked, 2 being from that store (David’s Bridal).

The first one was from one of the photos. It looked soft and flowy, but was actually not what I expected, and Tasha likened the fabric to Kleenex. No go.

Then was a floaty tea-length dress. It was cute, I did like it.

But then came the next one, and I did not want to take it off. Flowy skirt, beaded waistband.. I probably spent a good 10 minutes in it. The alterations fella came over and we talked modifications to cover that little bit of pudge at the armpit (that yes, everyone has, but Im hella self-conscious about) and we found a good way to do so with a sheer scarf modded into a thick halter strap. It has the perfect amount of poof, its simple but still elegant (like my b-e-a-u-tiful ring).

After that, came the next big contender. its light, its flowy, its comfortable. Id want to find a way to cover le pudge, but I could probably do the same as with the previous dress.

Next was a Grecian-looking one that seriously just looked like a nightgown. Nuh-uh.

I had a browse through their lookbook and found another, but when I tried it on it was also a no-go. It was a cute tea-length, but the fabric was patterned with a light brown floral so it looked kind of dirty.

Finally, Tasha pulled this one http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Satin-Corset-with-Beaded-Lace-Appliques-V9263_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Trend-Sparkle-Shine which I think is really pretty, but way too fancy for my wedding plans. But if I were having some big, huge, super fancy wedding, it would probably be a contender.

So yeah. Its between the first two now, but I still have to go shopping with mom in May (we were texting her photos as I tried them on) and then again with some friends from back home who have known me for 10 and 20 years, respectively.

I really thought Id just feel like I was a kid playing dress-up today, but I didnt. I felt like a pretty pretty princess. Huzzah!

Then we got dinner and when she found out I likely wont be having a shower since my MOH is my brother (as such is the Man of Awesome) and mom is three provinces over, she said she would, and would help me with the planning so I dont have to do it by myself (with some help from FH). D’aww.

Sorry y’all. Even with good intentions, I cant keep a blog running.

OR CAN I.

I am a member of the Offbeat Bride Tribe and Ive been posting journals in there with some regularity. So Im going to pop them on here if they contain matter I am ok with becoming public. First one was just an intro and me bemoaning my lack of female friends to go wedding-dress shopping with. But that was in early December. Next was financial and family woes, and how I was worried about how I was going to talk with my family (parents aside) about my wedding while skirting around the whole cost thing because theres been some tension there.

Heres where we got to the meat of things, in a segment entitled “I Have No Idea What Im Doing” from 27/12/2012.

If you go on my computer and open the file labelled “06-13-14” you will find a delightfully organized cache of wedding plans. Word documents have titles like “Le Plan” “Program” “Finances” “Guests” “Ceremony” “Invites”. Photos are prefaced with things like “decor” and “dress.”

It all looks grand. It looks like I have got. it. going. on. My shit? Oh yes, its together.

Its a big bunch of hooey.

If I could download this folder to a jump drive and hand it off to someone, then just pick out my dress and show up on the date, I would. Because I have no idea what Im doing. I’m the first of my generation to get married. Im the second of my close friends, but she recently had to move across the country and hers was done super cheap (she had to pay for it all herself - her dickwad (now ex) husband didnt contribute one red cent of his money). My mom lives a half country away, and when I talked to her today and said I wished she was here because I dont know where to start with all this, she just said not to worry about it. Itll work out. My sister? We just started talking again. Plus shes older than me and just ended a 4 year relationship. So yeah, not comfortable asking her for help. Ill feel like Im rubbing her nose in it. FH? Says not to worry about it either.

I think Im mostly worried about finding and booking a venue thats equidistant for his family as well as my family. And as of right now, my budget doesnt include a photographer because theyre so bleedin’ expensive. Dad said to come up with a budget and he’ll give me half of it. Maybe he’ll talk to my uncle about doing my photos as a wedding gift. He teaches photography, so he must be decent. Then Ill ask a friend to edit our faves.

I would like to elope, honestly. But FH keeps shooting it down. Butthead.

Went shopping for a wedding dress. Found 2 I loooove.

Made up my “asking cards” to send to Richie, Donnie, Anju, Lana, Jen, and 1-2 other girlfriends asking them to be in my wedding party. Who are the others? Im not 100% sure.

Looking at venues next weekend. Theres one that we both really like, and its a decent price, I think. Looks like our budget will be coming in at under $8000. Id rather it be lower, but c’est la vie.

I dont want to work tomorrow.

School starts Monday.

Goodnight.

Well that was a week Id rather not repeat.

I only ate the 3rd day breakfast today. Im so bad at committing to things.

But after 2.5 days, the results are thusly: It works. I dont know exact poundage, but Im currently wearing a pair of pants that are usually rather snug in the waist. They fit perfectly. When I poke my little spare tire, I feel the muscle behind it sooner.

All in all, I’d say its a good meal plan when you just want to fit into something a smidge smaller because it isnt a drastic change.

I might do it again in the future, but probably not for awhile.

Woke up this morning, not really feeling like Sean Combs, and checked myself out in the mirror. My belly is a bit flatter. Woot.

Breakfast of a scrambled egg (from Opas farm) on toast and half a banana. Again, filling.

I wasn’t all too hungry later on, but at break in Math class I had my slice of cheddar cheese and 5 saltines. The diet also says to have a hardboiled egg, but I ate that at home where I had salt and pepper available and wouldn’t get weird looks for plugging my nose and scoffing it back.

Dinner is 2 all-beef franks without buns, a cup of broccoli, half cup of carrots, the other half of my banana, and the vanilla ice cream. And honestly, I’m halfway through dinner and feeling full.

If at any point I felt like I was missing important nutrients or starving myself, Id stop. But its balanced and it says you CANNOT do this again immediately after doing it. You have to wait almost a week, eating normally in that time.

I found this thing on Pinterest called the Military Diet. Its 3 days, and you lose about 10lbs. Now, due to my lack of full-time employment since end of March, coupled with working at the mall parttime (see: food court) and my weakness for regular Ruffles with dip, I currently weigh in the low 140s and have (always had) a little belly pooch. So I figured, why not. Its not a starvation diet, or cabbage soup and green tea.

Today was Day 1. Breakfast was half a grapefruit, a piece of toast with 2 tbsp peanut butter, and a cup of coffee at about 730 AM. Filling, and healthy.

By the time lunch rolled around at 1130, I was a bit hungry. So I ate my slice of bread with half a cup of tuna (no mayo to make it tuna salad), and a cup of coffee. Could’ve had tea, but the caf had ‘Irish Cream’ and I couldn’t say no. Irish things are another weakness.

After class I had to work so off to the mall I went, snacking on the half a banana I was supposed to have with dinner. Oops. At about 630 I was hungry again so I ate the rest: about 3oz of chicken, a cup of green beans, an apple, and a small cup of vanilla ice cream from the Ice Creamery.

That’s right, this diet instructs you to eat icecream. What up. So its just after 10 and I’m feeling a bit hungry, but ill just chug some water and go to bed.

I feel utterly helpless.

In a matter of days, Kohly will call me and tell me I cannot drive anymore. Ill have to sell my car and find out how to sort things out with the college and Second Career transportation funding… If I sell to Glover, will he also pay me for the permit so I can use the money for a semester bus pass? Or do I have to return the permit, get the refund, give THAT to the government, and then wait to get money for the bus pass?

Once I get it though, itll be shit. Groceries will take 2 hours to get. Laundry will only get done if I want to bring a bin on the bus, walk a half hour to the laundromat, or beg a ride from a friend.

And then I have to figure out what Im doing about work. Im not sure the buses run to my area of town at 9PM. I dont think they run past the time Im done work on Sundays either. So Imma be fucked.

This next bit will sound ridiculous and desperate and stupid and overly-dramatic (as if the preceeding 3 paragraphs werent,amiright?)

Im thinking that Matt and I should just get married in a little courthouse ceremony, then get weddinged later on the date we planned. That way he can move to Canada sooner and we can solve eachothers problems - him being stuck in Michigan in a deadend job, my not being able to be completely independent from friends charity.

…………..

Im fucking pissedsadangryupset and my words wont come out right and I keep mistyping every fucking thing and my throat hurts like a bitch and fuck I just dont want to exist.

<small>I kinda hate you for bailing on me this time around, A.</small>

Last Wednesday I met my dad in Chatham, and then we drove up to Toronto for what I was told would be my appointment with the geneticist. It wasnt. Surprise. I got a bunch more photos taken of my eyes and Dr.Kohly told me that I have Retinitis Pigmentosa. Because, y’know, Dr.Patodia and Dr.Cooper and Tuan (aka Dr.Tran) hadn’t told me that before. She made up a quick family tree, getting snarky in the process, and decided it probably came from my moms side because.. I don’t know. Because she’s the only one with a named eye condition? Anyways, she prescribed me some eye drops that burn like hell and leave a gross taste in my mouth to reduce swelling in the back of my left eye.
Then she said to come back in a week for another vision field test to determine if I can keep my licence.
Yep, make another 4+ hour (each way) trip in a week for a 10 minute test.
So now I’m on the train to Toronto, in a squeaky as hell car next to 3 of the most annoying teenage girls ever who just won’t shut up. They’re currently bitching about how long it takes to get to toronto on a teain. Well duh, we stop in a bunch of depots en route. Idiots. I can hear them through my earplugs so I’ve given up trying to nap. Ill get into Union Station around 11, then might grab a coffee with a friend before my appointment at 2:15. I hope Google gave me the right instructions for Toronto public transit.